Your want to be happy?

So happiness - isn't that the thing that all of us strive to find and keep? Nobody is happy all of the time, but some people are definitely more fulfilled than others. Studies on what makes people happy reveal that it doesn't have much to do with material goods or high achievement; it seems to whittle down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships with the people around you. (",)

• Be optimistic.

• Make enough money to meet your basic needs.

• Smile.

• Get a friend.

• Don't try to hold grudges against anyone and rather just let the feelings go.

That was 5 way you can folllow now.......enjoy!

Book Recommended to Read

How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first bestselling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1937, it has sold 15 million copies globally.

Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of the 14-week courses given by Carnegie in 1934. Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication. In 1981 a new revised edition updated the language and updated anecdotes.The revised edition reduced the number of sections from 6 to 4, eliminating sections on effective business letters and improving marital satisfaction.

Help To Overcome Shyness

Public Speaking-Deal With Your Fear Now

Tips for Public Speaking

Are u Shy Person?? Here Tips for Making Friends.

Shy people can find it challenging to make friends especially if they are amongst people they don't know. Would you like to have the skills to start conversation and make friends with total strangers? It is not so difficult and frightening as you think as with little effort and practice you can start right now. Even better once you learn how it will become second nature to you, each time it will be easier, you will overcome shyness and making friends will become pleasure instead of torture.

The first thing to understand is that your shyness can end up being a real gift. Why? Because most of the time, people would rather talk than listen. It is human nature. So if you want to learn how to make friends all you have to know is how to get people to talk to you. Now this is easy once you understand what people like to talk about the most. Themselves.

That's right, if you want to get people to talk to you just ask them about themselves. Now, of course you are going to run into people who are more private and may be reluctant to do this. In this case, find out what they are interested in and get them to talk about it. Ask how long they have been doing it; ask why they started and why they like it so much. Then just let them go and listen. Knowing how to make friends is all about being able to keep a good conversation going. Get someone to talk about what they are interested in and you'll hardly have to talk at all. Pretty soon, they'll wonder the same thing about you. By then it ought to be easy to have your turn.

That said, let me give you a few tips on how to make friends by starting these kinds of conversations and keeping them going:

· Practice talking to people you don't know:

You can start small and work your way up. Make it a goal today to say hello to at least one person who you don't know. Do this for one week and then begin to also ask them "How are you today?" Once this becomes a habit, pick two people a day until you are saying this to everyone who you can. You will be surprised at how easy it becomes after some practice.

· Compliment them or ask for their advice

These are both powerful ways to earn someone's respect right away. Of course, you may not always be in a position to ask someone for advice. That's when you go for the compliment. Don't worry about what you are going to say next, the conversation may not go anywhere and that's OK. The point is that if you get into the habit of doing this that you are going to run into some people who will help move the conversation along.

These simple steps will make a world of difference; just imagine where you could be one year from now! So go ahead and work on putting them into practice. Soon you will learn that knowing how to make friends is something even shy people can learn.

a way to improvement - Relationships

Here are some tips for improving your relationships with others.

Qualities
Rate your "people skills" on a scale of 1-10. Do others enjoy being with you? Do you give off good vibes and energy? Do you smile, make eye contact and really listen? Do you ask questions to keep 'em talking? Optimistic? Do you use manners and offer to help others? Take a step back and analyze how you interact with others. Every day, I talk with and see those who exude confidence, enthusiasm and warmth. These are the people I want to chat with over coffee. These are the people who know how to use their people skills to get things done.

Be Fun & Interesting
Have a story and be prepared to share it. Tell of your travels, your early years, interesting facts you've read, unique life experiences that shaped you into the "you" of today. Purchase a family keepsake journal and fill in your info to pass along to future generations. Your great-grandchildren will want to know what you did for fun and work. Pass on words of wisdom and life lessons learned.

Take An Interest
How do you show that you care? Do you say the words or take action? A combo is the winner. Tell him you enjoy his stories as a lad and then invite him over for lunch. Tell her you appreciate her willingness to volunteer on short notice. BE SPECIFIC! Did she call you and offer words of sympathy when your loved one passed away? Did he offer to mow your grass while you were out of town? Telling someone specifically what they did or said will increase the likelihood they will do it again (for you or someone else). Talk about spreading some cheer!

Support Group
Who makes up your support group? Who can you count on to brighten your mood or to listen when you need to vent? Weed out those darn pessimists and those who tell you what to do. Thank those who you designate to be your support group by making a quick phone call or sending a hand-written note that will make you both feel good. Remind them you are emotionally available for them, too.

Give Them A Purpose
People enjoy feeling needed. Let your parents help you out financially. Let your neighbor drive you to the airport. You both will get some satisfaction out of the deal. Just remember to say "thanks". Don't feel obligated to repay the favor. Do good deeds because it feels good, not because you owe them.

No Regrets
One of the worst feelings is not saying/doing something until it's too late. Illness and death make people say things like, "I wish I had told him...." or "I never got to show her..." Don't let this happen to you. Make lists- people who you wronged or wronged you or with whom you did not have "closure." Contact them and forgive, apologize or get your closure. If they don't accept your apology, no worries, you did your part. Don't ever regret it.

Take Risks
Don't be afraid to tell others what is on your mind. Stop keeping your thoughts and worries to yourself. People feel bonded together when intimate thoughts are shared. Tell your adult children that you are experiencing health problems. They will want to help. Let them. Tell your religious friend that you are unsure what to believe about the after-life and how it is causing you stress. She'll listen.

Practice, Practice, Practice!
Athletes, musicians and public speakers constantly analyze how they could perform better. Put yourself in situations where you can practice your new skills. Smile at the clerk, compliment the mechanic about how he specifically fixed your engine, make a positive statement about the weather. "Wow, I really enjoy feeling that crisp air on my face in the morning. It makes me feel alive."

Be Responsible
If something in your relationship isn't working, it is up to you to fix it. Schedule a heart-to-heart talk. Discuss what is working, what's not and make a plan to resolve it.

About self esteem

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am competent" or "I am incompetent") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame. A person's self-esteem may be reflected in their behaviour, such as in assertiveness, shyness, confidence or caution. Self-esteem can apply specifically to a particular dimension (for example, "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or have global extent (for example, "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general").

Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic ("trait" self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations ("state" self-esteem) also exist.

Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include: self-worth,[1] self-regard,[2] self-respect,[3][4] self-love (which can express overtones of self-promotion),[5] and self-integrity. Self-esteem is distinct from self-confidence and self-efficacy, which involve beliefs about ability and future performance.



Quality and level of self-esteem

Level and quality of self-esteem, though correlated, remain distinct. Level-wise, one can exhibit high but fragile self-esteem (as in narcissism) or low but stable self-esteem (as in humility). However, investigators can indirectly assess the quality of self-esteem in several ways:

1. in terms of its constancy over time (stability)
2. in terms of its independence of meeting particular conditions (non-contingency)
3. in terms of its ingrained nature at a basic psychological level (implicitness or automatized).

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Confidence in 7 ways

1) Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

2) Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on. And that doesn't mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (many times, you simply can't). You need to learn to accept yourself, your past, your circumstances as they are, without necessarily thinking of them as "bad".


3) Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

4) Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

5) Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

6) Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel!

7) Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Just recognizing who or what your like inside will help you become that on the outside. Exercise helps you build strength and confidence, increases libido, and has a lot many other positive effects.

Some artikel about effective communication skills..

Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible.

Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.

In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication.

By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.

In a recent survey of recruiters from companies with more than 50,000 employees, communication skills were cited as the single more important decisive factor in choosing managers. The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburgh’s Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, as well as an ability to work with others, are the main factor contributing to job success.

In spite of the increasing importance placed on communication skills, many individuals continue to struggle, unable to communicate their thoughts and ideas effectively – whether in verbal or written format. This inability makes it nearly impossible for them to compete effectively in the workplace, and stands in the way of career progression.

Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived. You must also weigh-in the circumstances surrounding your communications, such as situational and cultural context.

Skill that everyperson must have to gain success